How to Accept Praise From People, And Not Have A Cow // Culture of Honor
Ok. If you're anything like me, or perhaps 99.9% of Christian believers, you know it's the most awkward and difficult thing to accept compliments and praise without having to squirm and all of a sudden feel like the temperature just got raised 100 degrees. You just feel so put on the spot, and although you feel good, you wonder whether it's actually ok to feel good about it and you try to cover up the insecurity and show a better side of you by deflecting it onto God- which in itself is a noble and worthy cause, right?
Chris Ferguson, one of the overseers of our class, just LOVES to butter up our guest speakers before they speak, after which the speakers in bashful fashion step up to the mic. But when it came to Ryan Couch, our guest speaker this past week, Chris went the extra mile. He actually had all the small group leaders of the track come up to the front and each person say a 30 second sound byte as to why Ryan was such a great and Godly man. I'm sure it was on everyone's mind, "There goes Chris Ferguson again..."
But in the midst of this spontaneous "toast" that was being assembled, Chris said something that really stuck with me-
"Let's all remember that the best way to receive praise is not as if from men, but from your heavenly Father".
...
Not from men...but from your heavenly father.
The profundity of it left me looking for loopholes to this rationale, but after letting my mind and heart digest it further, it just made complete sense to me. God is giving you a gift of affirmation, and it doesn't glorify Him for us to throw it back in the faces of the people who are tenderly sharing their hearts, nor God who may be wanting to encourage and love through them. But when we look at receiving praise through the lens of receiving the love and affirmation of the Father over us, we can wholeheartedly and joyfully say, "Thank you!" I think God is totally glorified through that!
On the other hand, although deflecting praise and giving glory to God in front of people can be genuine, it can also be false-humility. We're trying to appear humble, but deep in our hearts, there's a pride in us that refuses to accept praise and affirmation, because we just think we're not worth it. But then again, who are we to disagree and dispute God's affirmations towards us through people, as if, we knew better?
Last year at IHOP's worship commission event, the instructor Terri Terri (that's her name!!), shared this powerful illustration about what it means to receive praise from people. She used tissues. She had people hand her tissues which represented compliments and affirmations. She then explained that alot of people when they receive these "tissues of praise", they just crumple it up, throw it down and stomp on it in order to "give God the glory". She quipped that you can be sure you'll never hear from those people again. However, when we receive these precious tissues with joy and thanksgiving, not only are the givers edified, but at the end of the day we can stand before Jesus and honor Him by offering these collected "tissues".
I think this kinda stuff needs practice. Which leads me to my 2nd topic-promoting a culture of honor.
I just came back from a dinner with friends where we were discussing this stuff about how to receive praise from people, and once we came to the conclusions of what you just read, we just started to affirm and praise one another. It was a little silly, but it was genuine. I called out people for being so amazing, and vice versa. Sure, our faces were a bit red, but in the end there was a real Spirit of love, joy and acceptance in the place- and profoundly, a sense of humility in the atmosphere once that was done with. It was a culture of honor, where we honor each other. And I think that's God's Kingdom.
Back to Ryan Couch. After his own "toast", Ryan joked around saying this was an ambush for him. But he also pointed something out that this kind of stuff, honoring each other- this stuff should be common place in God's kingdom. And the degree to which he felt awkward about it, perhaps testified to the absence of this kind of culture and it's need at the same time. And then he said this, "If you call a man higher in his identity, he'll usually match it. But if you call a man lower in his identity, he'll match that too." Chew on that for a little bit.
In a culture of honor, we exercise and impart faith in seeing people the way God sees them. And when you're in a culture where you're spoken blessing and identity over your life, lives change, and His Kingdom advanced through love.
Chris Ferguson, one of the overseers of our class, just LOVES to butter up our guest speakers before they speak, after which the speakers in bashful fashion step up to the mic. But when it came to Ryan Couch, our guest speaker this past week, Chris went the extra mile. He actually had all the small group leaders of the track come up to the front and each person say a 30 second sound byte as to why Ryan was such a great and Godly man. I'm sure it was on everyone's mind, "There goes Chris Ferguson again..."
But in the midst of this spontaneous "toast" that was being assembled, Chris said something that really stuck with me-
"Let's all remember that the best way to receive praise is not as if from men, but from your heavenly Father".
...
Not from men...but from your heavenly father.
The profundity of it left me looking for loopholes to this rationale, but after letting my mind and heart digest it further, it just made complete sense to me. God is giving you a gift of affirmation, and it doesn't glorify Him for us to throw it back in the faces of the people who are tenderly sharing their hearts, nor God who may be wanting to encourage and love through them. But when we look at receiving praise through the lens of receiving the love and affirmation of the Father over us, we can wholeheartedly and joyfully say, "Thank you!" I think God is totally glorified through that!
On the other hand, although deflecting praise and giving glory to God in front of people can be genuine, it can also be false-humility. We're trying to appear humble, but deep in our hearts, there's a pride in us that refuses to accept praise and affirmation, because we just think we're not worth it. But then again, who are we to disagree and dispute God's affirmations towards us through people, as if, we knew better?
Last year at IHOP's worship commission event, the instructor Terri Terri (that's her name!!), shared this powerful illustration about what it means to receive praise from people. She used tissues. She had people hand her tissues which represented compliments and affirmations. She then explained that alot of people when they receive these "tissues of praise", they just crumple it up, throw it down and stomp on it in order to "give God the glory". She quipped that you can be sure you'll never hear from those people again. However, when we receive these precious tissues with joy and thanksgiving, not only are the givers edified, but at the end of the day we can stand before Jesus and honor Him by offering these collected "tissues".
I think this kinda stuff needs practice. Which leads me to my 2nd topic-promoting a culture of honor.
I just came back from a dinner with friends where we were discussing this stuff about how to receive praise from people, and once we came to the conclusions of what you just read, we just started to affirm and praise one another. It was a little silly, but it was genuine. I called out people for being so amazing, and vice versa. Sure, our faces were a bit red, but in the end there was a real Spirit of love, joy and acceptance in the place- and profoundly, a sense of humility in the atmosphere once that was done with. It was a culture of honor, where we honor each other. And I think that's God's Kingdom.
Back to Ryan Couch. After his own "toast", Ryan joked around saying this was an ambush for him. But he also pointed something out that this kind of stuff, honoring each other- this stuff should be common place in God's kingdom. And the degree to which he felt awkward about it, perhaps testified to the absence of this kind of culture and it's need at the same time. And then he said this, "If you call a man higher in his identity, he'll usually match it. But if you call a man lower in his identity, he'll match that too." Chew on that for a little bit.
In a culture of honor, we exercise and impart faith in seeing people the way God sees them. And when you're in a culture where you're spoken blessing and identity over your life, lives change, and His Kingdom advanced through love.
nice.
ReplyDeleteI heard someone say something like, "Every man is a king and a fool--the one you talk to is the one you'll get." I think he was referring to the male species specifically, but your 2nd to last paragraph reminds me of that.
Man that's profound Esther!! Thanks for sharing that insight- it's so true. What a challenge to love!!
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