Facebook Purge is real!

The last week I've gone a journey of slimming down my FB friend's list to make my page a more intimate space.

But dang! Can I say- FB purge is real?! I have no idea who some people are on my list. Total blank. Back in the day I just added everyone and sent friend requests to everyone thinking that it will be a ministry and give me more influence in putting life- giving posts out to everyone. But now with my ministry page up, I'm finding that I'm trying to retreat at all costs and make my page that much more personal, while openly sharing things I would like to share with the rest of the world on my ministry page.

Anyways, I'm sure we've all thought at some point whether to do a facebook purge. C'mon, admit it. Whether out of offense, defense, wisdom, parity- whatever your motive, it's run across your mind. But if you've gone about it before, you know it's not easy by any means, and you'll spend your fair share of minutes silently debating within yourself whether you should friend/unfriend someone.

Well, to help be another voice in the already oversaturated opinion-sphere we live in, here are some standards by which I've personally gone about my purge-

1. We haven't had a meaningful conversation where we both mutually connected on a deep level.

2. We haven't contacted, communicated for many years or a significant time span.

3. I can't think of one meaningful memory we shared.

All in all, if my heart does not leap out in some way when I flash your FB profile pic, then you sir/madame are a good candidate to be dropped. But hey, I'm flexible! I'm not entirely all cruel and heartless. Here below, on the other hand are some standards by which I've kept people on my list despite the above.

1. We may not have had the deepest connection but I've observed you've made an honest attempt not to just stalk my updates but to "like" or "comment" as a way of staying in touch. [I "like" it when I get "liked" and I won't certainly think of you for the worse for clicking that trackpad.]

2.  We may not have had the deepest connection but you personally messaged me saying you'd like to stay connected. [Aka, refer back to the aforementioned standard.]

3. I just like you (Let's be real) or there's something there to warrant continuing FB connection for both of us.

All that said, going on a facebook purge doesn't preclude that we may end up adding people we've defriended in another season. Unfriending does not have to mean a burned bridge! Amen?! It's just an adaptive measure of putting up healthy boundaries, especially in an age where so much time we spend is online-and nothing to take personally.  

For my efforts in going about this, it's all started when I've noticed many pastors I respect doing the same with their FB pages. In fact one pastor who I won't name- someone I really look up to (and you probably do too)- despite his overwhelming popularity, his friend list is at 500 and I'm not even on it (although I've sent a friend request). And I can say that I've done ministry with this guy and we've had our fair share of meaningful convos. But I didn't get offended at the miff and respected it and saw it as wise.  

So, perhaps there is something to the FB purge without thinking of it as insecurity or passive-aggressive online guerrilla warfare. Intentionality is the essence of relationships and perhaps we can consider the FB purge as a message to the rest of the world that you value sincere, trying, relationships. After all, online presence doesn't always have to equate to shallow exchanges. It's what you make of it in the end. Intentionality.

I'm pretty sure I won't be able to cut down to 500, but the purge continues...and by now, maybe you'd have rethought the possibility in doing the same!