The First Shall Be Last, The Last Shall Be First
Yes! After a long hiatus, I decided to start writing in my blog again. Alot of the motivation comes from thoughts that would be otherwise too long to share on a Facebook post!
Anyways, to jump right in- I was on a date today with Gina and we happened to be sharing about our pasts, and our past regrets. For her, one of her biggest regrets is not living her college years for Christ but having spent it in the partying scene. She shares this especially in comparison with my college years, where for the most part, it was spent in much revival for the Lord and doing ministry. As we were sharing this heart felt convo, I could feel for her and understand her regret. Yet at the same time, as I shared with her a little later, through the course of our conversation it really dawned on me that despite our pasts, none of that really mattered right now-but what matters, is NOW.
In other words, I really didn't feel I had any leg up on her in regards to past blessings or ministry pasts, but I felt conviction in my heart that it's really the current that matters to God. When Paul said in Phil. 3:13, "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead", I don't think he just meant past failures and shames, as many Pastors would typically exegete from that verse. But I think Paul is talking about ministry successes and victories-because although we have reason to give thanks to the Lord for such things, none of them are guaranteed to continue if we settle back and become complacent or diminish in our hunger for the Lord in our walks with Him.
I'll admit. I shared with Gina that I see such a hunger in her life for more of the Lord, and I get sincerely challenged by that, because when I look into my own heart I lack that hunger edge, currently. It alarms and challenges me at the same time. As much as I have history with the Lord, I think what matters to Him is faithfulness, obedience and perseverance in finishing this race with a burning heart of love, despite whatever storied ministry experience I have. Do I still burn for Him like I did then? I believe He wants a Bride passionately in love with Him to the end. And for that, I think in many ways, I could learn more for Gina than what she can learn from me.
Anyways, to jump right in- I was on a date today with Gina and we happened to be sharing about our pasts, and our past regrets. For her, one of her biggest regrets is not living her college years for Christ but having spent it in the partying scene. She shares this especially in comparison with my college years, where for the most part, it was spent in much revival for the Lord and doing ministry. As we were sharing this heart felt convo, I could feel for her and understand her regret. Yet at the same time, as I shared with her a little later, through the course of our conversation it really dawned on me that despite our pasts, none of that really mattered right now-but what matters, is NOW.
In other words, I really didn't feel I had any leg up on her in regards to past blessings or ministry pasts, but I felt conviction in my heart that it's really the current that matters to God. When Paul said in Phil. 3:13, "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead", I don't think he just meant past failures and shames, as many Pastors would typically exegete from that verse. But I think Paul is talking about ministry successes and victories-because although we have reason to give thanks to the Lord for such things, none of them are guaranteed to continue if we settle back and become complacent or diminish in our hunger for the Lord in our walks with Him.
I'll admit. I shared with Gina that I see such a hunger in her life for more of the Lord, and I get sincerely challenged by that, because when I look into my own heart I lack that hunger edge, currently. It alarms and challenges me at the same time. As much as I have history with the Lord, I think what matters to Him is faithfulness, obedience and perseverance in finishing this race with a burning heart of love, despite whatever storied ministry experience I have. Do I still burn for Him like I did then? I believe He wants a Bride passionately in love with Him to the end. And for that, I think in many ways, I could learn more for Gina than what she can learn from me.
Jesus makes it clear- in the Kingdom of God, we'll see the first be last and the last be first! I think in that sense, it's more dangerous for people with my past to become conceited, proud and cynical, than for the broken and humbled back-slider, who now having returned to Christ is experiencing the fresh and renewing joy of salvation.
Don't stay in the regret of your past and think you've missed out on something, however dark and wasteful it seemed. What matters is that by the grace of God you are where you are in the Lord right now, and it's your choices and your hunger for Him today that will determine your future, and not your past! God has only ONE scale that He applies to all of us, and it's not achievement or experiences. It's a vibrant, and hungry heart burning for Jesus. All the more, and nothing less.
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